I will fail.
I have no skills.
I’ll disappoint everyone.
I can’t do it.
…All thoughts running through my head as I get an offer for a job I can’t refuse. And it’s not that I’ve been idle since quitting my job 15 months ago to have my son. I’ve been running my yoga events business (very passively), doing some acting/modeling/commercial work on the side, and reporting every Saturday for KUTV 2news. But something about a company RELYING on ME for a big part of their company just riddles me with anxiety! I’ll be doing social media and marketing for a yoga studio, which combines both my media and yoga passions in one, well-compensated PART-TIME (time with my son is not something I will forfeit) job. But the idea of having a J-O-B comes with a lot of limiting beliefs now that I’m, in my mind, 15 months out of practice.
I’m doing Deepak Chopra and Oprah’s current 21-day meditation on changing your belief system. In the first meditation, Deepak has me write down all the labels that pertain to me: Age, gender, marital status, even city and state, and anything else I would call myself. Then, he has me write my immediate feelings that come up next to each one. I started going down the list. Age: 29, too little time left to accomplish my dreams. Gender: Woman, never will be taken seriously professionally. parental Role: Mother, not good enough. And you read above what came up next to ‘occupation.’
Wow. So negative! Thank goodness Deepak pointed this out; that your outlook on life, and your identity, completely hinge on your internal beliefs. You hear, ‘think positive!’ all the time, but have you noticed how hard that is when inside, all you feel is negative? One positive thought is simply a bandaid for a hurting soul. So, how do you fix a broken belief system?
You remember the good parts about you. I’m going through the list again; this time, with awareness, and honesty. Age: 29, and look at all I’ve accomplished! Parental Role: Mom, nurturing, educational and silly. Occupation: Alright, now here’s where I am either going to set myself up for a road of success, or failure…
I am tenacious.
I always deliver.
I take pride in my work.
I am enough.
I. Will. Nail. It!
And that’s just what I believe I’m going to do.